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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Excerpt: My Invented Life by Lauren Bjorkman

Book Description
With Roz and Eva everything becomes a contest—who can snag the best role in the school play, have the cutest boyfriend, pull off the craziest prank. Still, they’re as close as sisters can be. Until Eva deletes Roz from her life like so much junk e-mail for no reason that Roz understands. Now Eva hangs out with the annoyingly petite cheerleaders, and Roz fantasizes about slipping bovine growth hormone into their Gatorade.
Roz has a suspicion about Eva. In turn, Eva taunts Roz with a dare, which leads to an act of total insanity. Drama geeks clamor for attention, Shakespearean insults fly, and Roz steals the show in Lauren Bjorkman’s hilarious debut novel.
Excerpt
I raise my mini golf club and try to focus on the clown’s chomping mouth. Other lips are on my mind, though—Bryan’s, to be honest. As my eyes wander in his direction, Eva leans in to kiss those lips. Bryan belongs to my sister, a circumstance I’d rather forget. My ball sails over the polka-dotted clown hat and disappears deep into Nowheresville, where the gum wrappers live. Mom bribed us into coming tonight by inviting our boyfriends. 
Except I don’t have one.If life were one big stage (and it is), this would be the scene where the heroine (me) seethes with jealousy and the desire for revenge. The thick folds of her wool cloak conceal a weapon. She unveils the silvery blade to gasps from the audience and advances toward the doomed couple. O happy dagger!
But the pint-sized windmill in the background is all wrong. It creates a trashy-teen-movie sort of ambience when the scene calls for romantic boudoir. Think Othello taking the life of his beloved Desdemona.
Eva and Bryan’s kiss goes on for an eternity. When they finally come up for air, he looks over her shoulder right at me. I choose feigned disinterest over murder and saunter off in the direction of my lost ball. My so-called search leads me to a hidden bench that’s perfect for an intermission. I stretch out and close my eyes. Here’s what I should’ve said to Mom this afternoon: “Alas, no miniature golf for me tonight. My allergy to Astroturf, you know. Have your people call my people to reschedule.”
A sweet smell hovers over my bench. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” Bryan says, brushing my cheek with a half-opened rose.
I am so lying. Click here to read more

Lauren Bjorkman

Author Bio

I grew up on a sailboat, sharing the tiny forecastle with my sister and the sail bags. Against all odds, we are still friends. We started sailing in California and ended in Argentina. My favorite stops along the way were Costa Rica, Panama, Isla Providencia, Key West, the Azores, the Canary Islands, and Brazil.
During our voyages, my sister drew beautiful paper dolls for the both of us. We sewed amazing wardrobes for our stuffed animals. We became excellent swimmers and beach combers. We made up new lyrics for old songs. Canned food dominated our meals on crossings, so we really appreciated fresh fruit when we came into port. I dreamed of ice cream on the open ocean.
We kept up with school through a program called Calvert out of Maryland.
My dad read to us at night by the light of a kerosene lamp. Since then, I've always loved stories and wanted to write my own.
I live in Taos, New Mexico with my husband, and two sons. We often see coyotes outside our window. 
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